It was two years ago, when I first met ‘K’, a ballet dancer. Her dance was very energetic. She kept dancing in the park from morning till evening. She danced even in the drizzling rain. While the music played through headphones, she danced. It was as if her feelings exploded from the bottom of her heart.
Once she quit dance because of her marriage, childbirth and parenting. Now she attempts a comeback as a dancer. That is why she has been dancing enthusiastically in the park. It is not just training for her. I see the inner conflict in her dance. She must be struggling to carve out a new future. Her dance is her own self. As she dances, her body and soul has become one and as one stronger. And I feel some important messages are emitted from her.
‘Pursuing whereabouts of your soul’ is the theme of her dance, she told me one day. When the mind unites with the body, the soul gets to be released. It’s not easy to find the way to the state of the freedom but obviously the released soul is ourselves. In other words, the soul exists there as it truly is.
In my social life, I have lived carefully not to cause trouble, especially in personal relationships. A lot of information surrounds us and I have been influenced by them. I have controlled my feeling because I don’t want to be hurt. But I guess I was wrong. As I have been watching her dance for two years, her dance and her way of life taught me how important it is to be true to yourself. However, I can’t change my way of living immediately because I have been through everything becoming the way I am. And I feel safe and familiar to it somehow. I think I need considerable energy to break my habitual way of living that I have had a long time and to get out of my shell. Now is the time for me to struggle and pursue a new life, like ‘K’.
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